The Art of Learning How to Love

by Joyce Meyer

No matter how long you may live, you’ll never stop learning. Every minute of every day brings new opportunities to learn something we’ve never known before. As long as we’re open to receive, God will continue to teach us every day. 

I’m still learning, and I know I always will be. What God teaches me every day about love continues to change my life. I’ve come to the place where I can honestly say, “Lord, eliminate everything in my life that’s holding me back. Please take away anything that’s keeping me from walking in love and finding true fulfillment in my life.” In other words, “Lord, reduce me to love—bring me to a state or condition of walking in love completely!” 

One of the most important facets I’ve learned about love is unselfishness, which is characterized in the Bible as a willingness to sacrifice one’s own wishes for those of others. I’ve learned that true love will always adapt and adjust to the needs and desires of other people. 

It’s impossible for people who’ve truly been reduced to love to be selfish. God has taught them how to be totally adaptable and adjustable to others. Selfish people, on the other hand, have hard hearts. It’s very difficult for them to learn anything—especially if it involves self-sacrifice. They expect everyone else to adjust to them and their needs. They simply don’t know how to adjust to others without becoming angry or upset. 

Learning to adapt and adjust to the needs and desires of others was very difficult for me. To be honest, I wanted my way, and I got upset when I didn’t get it. I was selfish! I wanted what I wanted, when I wanted it! I couldn’t stand having to wait on someone else or bending my own wishes to accommodate someone else’s timetable. 

But God began to soften my heart, and gradually I learned to see the needs of others. Then God gave me compassion—the heartfelt desire to meet the needs of others first before my own. 

Slowly, I became committed to walking in love. I learned to adapt my own needs and desires in order to help meet the needs of others. I learned how to show love in different ways to different people. Not all people need the same thing from us. One of our children, for example, may need more of our personal time than the others. One of our friends may need more encouragement on a regular basis than another. 

For example, all of my family members need me, my employees need me, my friends need me—and they all need me in different ways. 

Do I ever feel too needed? Of course! We all feel overwhelmed from time to time. But I remind myself that God gives me grace for whatever He places in my life, and I’m fortunate to be loved and needed by so many. 

If I ever get weary of always trying to be available to meet the needs of others, I remind myself of all the years I lived in selfishness and how unhappy I was. Now I’m just making up for lost time! When I think on this, it doesn’t take long for me to adjust my attitude. After all, just telling people “I love you” is not enough. We need to go beyond the words and actually do something to help meet their needs. 

My husband, Dave, loves to play golf, so I try to make sure our schedule gives him opportunities to play. But there was a time when it angered me for him to play golf. I was miserable because I hadn’t learned to adjust to his needs or desires. I wanted him to make all the adjustments. 

I never acknowledged the many ways in which Dave adjusted to my needs. I never saw what he did do—only what he didn’t—and it was ruining our relationship. I’m glad that I’ve learned to adapt and adjust. It was a little hard on me for a while, but it saved our marriage. 

Once you’ve been reduced to love, you’ll have no trouble establishing and maintaining good, healthy relationships with others. Your primary goal in life will be to put the wishes of others before your own. You’ll learn that true love is all about sacrifice and selfishness will be a thing of the past.

Daily Battles of the Mind

Did you know that we are in a war every day? We see the casualties everywhere—people falling from disease, divorce and tragedy. Looking around at all the suffering, we may think the battles in hospitals and divorce courts are being lost. But in reality, we’re losing the advanced and more important conflict—the battle in our minds. Each day our minds are bombarded with a constant stream of nagging thoughts, suspicions, doubts and fears. While any one of these can cause defeat and devastation, we are often plagued by more than one…filling our daily lives with mental combat against an array of aggressors. Since we fail to identify the battlefield, we also fail to correctly identify our foe. We tend to believe people, money, religion or “the system” are our problems. In an attempt to defend ourselves, we build strongholds in our mind. Strongholds are areas of thinking not based on truth but lies. Instead of protecting us, they actually imprison us. Unless we renew our mind, we risk continuing to believe those lies and making important decisions based on deception. Let me give you an example of how strongholds of wrong thinking can destroy a marriage. Mary and her husband, John, are not enjoying a happy marriage. There is strife between them all the time. They are angry, bitter and resentful. Now their two children are starting to show signs of being affected by all the dissension at home. One of the kids is even developing stomach problems brought on by stress from the conflict. Mary’s problem is that she doesn’t know how to let John be the head of their family. She is bossy—she wants to make all the decisions, handle the finances, and discipline the children. She wants to work so she will have her “own” money. She’s independent, loud and demanding. Mary knows her attitude is wrong and wants to change. She’s been in counseling and is constantly asking people to pray for God to help her. But she hasn’t seen any improvement. Why? Mary has trouble controlling her actions because she has trouble controlling her thoughts. She has a hard time knowing what thoughts to control because of the strongholds in her mind—strongholds that were built very early in her life. As a child, Mary had an extremely domineering father. For years she suffered helplessly as her father mistreated her and her mother. He was disrespectful in all his ways except toward Mary’s brother who could do no wrong. It seemed as if he was favored just because he was a boy. By the time she was sixteen, the strongholds in Mary’s mind were firmly established. The stronghold of lies went like this: “Men really think they’re something. They are all alike, and you can’t trust any of them. They will hurt you and take advantage of you.” As a result, Mary’s mind was made up: “When I get away from home, nobody is ever going to push me around again!” Before Mary can ever have victory in her life and peace in her marriage, she will have to tear down the strongholds that are ruling her thinking. Do you see yourself in Mary’s life? Many of us have given in to deception at one time or another. How can these strongholds be torn down? We must be willing to receive the light of Truth in our minds. Our search for Truth begins in God’s Word, which says that the Truth will set us free (see John 8:32). This means we can be free from bondage, sin and strongholds in our minds. But just searching for Truth won’t set us free. We must be courageous enough to also believe the Truth. Even when the Truth illuminates what’s inside of us, it’s sometimes hard to accept. It’s a painful process to face our deceptions and deal with them. It’s so easy to allow our past and how we were raised to negatively affect us for the rest of our lives. Our past may explain why we’re suffering, but we must not use it as an excuse to stay in bondage. You may have some major strongholds in your life that need to be torn down. Let me encourage you by saying, “God is on your side.” There is a war going on, and your mind is the battlefield. But the good news is that God is fighting on your side! by Joyce Meyer

Matthew 18: 21-22 NIV

Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times? “Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.”

Just started on the p90x regime, man 2 days in and my body is aching like hell. But the results are showing. My heart aches as well because I am missing someone alot…but i know its for our own good…

Do not pray for easy lives. Pray to be stronger men. Do not pray for tasks equal to your powers. Pray for powers equal to your tasks. Then the doing of your work shall be no miracle, but you shall be the miracle.  Every day you shall wonder at yourself, at the richness of life which has come to you by the grace of God.

What a Hamburger Can Teach You About Forgiveness

by Joyce Meyer

I once made a disastrous mistake and asked my husband, Dave, for the last bite of his hamburger. If there’s anything hard for a man to sacrifice, it’s that last bite. It’s much easier to give somebody the first bite because he still has so much of it left, but when he’s down to the last bite, it’s tough. I didn’t realize before how much of a test it could be, especially for Dave.

Our exchange began as usual, with his offer, “I’m going to stop here and get a hamburger. Do you want one?” 

“No, no, no. I don’t want anything.” 

“Are you sure you don’t want anything? Let me get you one.” 

I firmly said, “Dave, I don’t want a hamburger.” 

He said, “I’ll eat what’s left.” 

I said, “I do not want a hamburger.” 

“OK.” 

He bought a hamburger, and it smelled so good. I waited and waited, trying my best not to ask for a bite of that hamburger. But he got down to the last bite, and I couldn’t stand it. 

I asked, “Do you suppose I could have that last bite?” 

Dave got upset with me and huffed, “Why didn’t you let me get you a hamburger?! I’ll buy you all the hamburgers you want. Why do you only want to eat mine?” 

“It’s only one bite!” I defended. “You don’t have to be so selfish!” 

He said, “All right! Here it is.” 

I said, “Nope, I don’t want it! I wouldn’t eat that hamburger now! You couldn’t pay me to eat that bite of hamburger!” 

He said, “You eat this!” 

I said, “I’m not eating it!” 

He said, “You eat it!” 

I said, “I will not!” 

“Well, I’m not eating it,” Dave replied, “so you might as well.” So I took it, shoved it in my mouth and chewed it up. 

I was upset not only because Dave had hurt my feelings, but also because I’d compared the way he treated me to the way I saw other men treat their wives. I said, “Well, other men give their wives bites of their food. I just ask you for one stinkin’ bite of your hamburger, and you throw a fit!” I was mad for about an hour after that argument. 

It takes a little while for the Lord to get through to us when we’re enjoying our vengeance and self-pity, just as I was. But finally I started feeling the Lord deep within me saying, “Joyce, you are acting ridiculous. The man told you he would buy you a whole sack of hamburgers if you wanted them.” 

Dave had offered to buy me a hamburger even if I wanted just one bite of it. He’d clearly asked me in advance not to ask for his. It doesn’t matter what other men do. Sharing that last bite of hamburger bothered Dave. The person to whom you are comparing your spouse probably has some faults your spouse doesn’t have that would drive you crazy and be just as difficult to accept. What’s the sense in pushing something on your spouse if it bothers them? Just don’t do it. 

Marriages are not as good as they could be when people hold on to little things that have hurt or offended them. It’s difficult to completely open yourself up after being hurt because you’re afraid you’ll be hurt again. Nobody can promise that loving someone won’t hurt. In fact, you can’t love without being willing to be hurt. It’s not possible. 

You can’t have real love unless you’re willing to forgive. Love keeps giving the other person another chance. Love keeps trusting them over and over again, expecting them to do the right thing the next time. I realize there are big hurts and also little things we deal with daily. Sometimes we may not even know what is agitating us, but we need to decide to let go of its irritating hold on us. 

Ask the Lord to reveal what it was that caused you to feel bitterness or resentment. You may be surprised at what He drags up, but when you see the truth, decide to let go of that grief. Decide to forgive the person who didn’t respond to you in the right way. 

It took me several days to completely get over the hamburger incident. That’s the truth! My feelings had been hurt because Dave didn’t want me to have that bite of his hamburger. But I had to get over it and move on. Don’t trade your happiness for a bite of hamburger! Forget what lies behind and press on to what lies ahead. 

How Hugs are Proven to Help Your Health: Have You Been Hugged Today?

How Hugs are Proven to Help Your Health: Have You Been Hugged Today?
by www.SixWise.com

Hugs certainly feel good, both on the giving and receiving end, and it turns out their effects are more than skin deep. A study by University of North Carolina researchers found that hugs increase the “bonding” hormone oxytocin and decrease the risk of heart disease.

Hugs are good for your heart, they lower blood pressure, and reduce stress, so make it a point to hug someone today!

In fact, when couples hugged for 20 seconds, their levels of oxytocin, released during childbirth and breastfeeding, increased. Those in loving relationships had the highest increases.

Meanwhile, levels of the stress hormone cortisol decreased in women, as did their blood pressure. Said lead researcher and psychologist Dr. Karen Grewen, “Greater partner support is linked to higher oxytocin levels for both men and women. However, the importance of oxytocin and its potentially cardioprotective effects may be greater for women.”

Hugging for Your Heart

“Scientists are increasingly interested in the possibility that positive emotions can be good for your health. This study has reinforced research findings that support from a partner, in this case a hug from a loved one, can have beneficial effects on heart health,” said Dr. Charmaine Griffiths, spokesperson for the British Heart Foundation.

Indeed, a previous study, also led by Grewen, found that hugging and handholding reduces the effects of stress. Two groups of couples were asked to talk about an angry event, but one group had previously held hands and hugged, while the others sat alone. It was found that:

• Blood pressure increased significantly more among the no-contact group as compared to the huggers.

• Heart rate among those without contact increased 10 beats a minute, compared to five beats a minute for huggers.

What’s more, Grewen suggests that warm contact such as hugs and hand-holding before the start of a rough day “could carry over and protect you throughout the day.”

Benefits of Touch Start Early

A hearty hug in the morning may help your loved one ward off stress all day.

Humans are clearly social animals, as evidenced by countless studies showing that those who have friends are healthier, as are people who are married.

We need social contact, and that includes touch, even beyond a couple’s capacity. Take, for example, the fact that babies benefit from skin-to-skin contact with their mother with better physical development and positive bonding.

A telling example was a study of Korean infants in an orphanage. Those who received an extra 15 minutes of a female voice, massage and eye-to-eye contact, five days a week for four weeks, gained more weight and had greater increases in body length and head circumferences after the four weeks and at 6 months of age than children without the extra stimulation.

Therapeutic touch has also been shown to reduce stress and pain among adults, and reduces symptoms of Alzheimer’s disease, such as restlessness, pacing, vocalization, searching and tapping.

Time to Get, and Give, More Hugs

“U.S. couples aren’t very touchy feely in public,” says Tiffany Field of the Touch Research Institute at the University of Miami Medical School. This is a shame as touch also releases two feel-good brain chemicals, serotonin and dopamine.

Yet, according to Field’s studies of U.S. and Parisian cafes, French couples spend three times more time touching than American couples.

So what are we waiting for? Grab your partner, friend or family member and give them a hug today. And if you’re really feeling bold, check out the first link below and treat your significant other to a special treat tonight.